I watched Taking Woodstock the other night with Regan and Jeff. What an awesome movie. It must have been such an amazing thing to be involved, in any way, with the whole Woodstock thing. In watching the movie I began to remember what it was like the first time I was part of such a thing.My first introduction to a culture like that of Woodstock was my first Phish show on August 1, 1998 at Alpine Valley in East Troy, WI. A regrettably late start due to my mom's ban on going to concerts until my brother finally got her to let me go to a Kiss show with him. Anyhow, it was, in hindsight, a very mellow introduction to what was ahead just the very next summer. My eyes were opened to a community unlike anything I had gotten growing up in rich, white, suburbia. What was different about this group? Something, the biggest thing, that I always identify is the acknowledgement of a stranger. When walking down the street (who does that anymore right???) have you noticed what happens when you pass someone you don't know? Nearly every single time, I notice, as I approach, the person avoids eye contact and thus a greeting or even a nod. This is not the case on the lot at a Phish show and even less so at a Phish festival. When walking around, if you keep your head up you will notice other people doing the same. Saying 'hi' to people or just trading smiles is the norm. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here a little. My point is that I was shocked at how drastically different this community was than the everyday community to which I was accustomed.
Along the way somewhere between that first show and the three night run at UIC Pavillion fall '98, I fell in love with the bond of the people at Phish shows. It's addicting to me, this sense of family. For every show I have been to I have had a different group to be with, whether new or old friends, there hasn't been the same 'core family' with me. Yet, I have the same feeling at every show, family. From high school friends, to Jon Forrester whom I hadn't seen since middle school and he picked me out of the crowd right after the first night of Camp Oswego, to Team Awesome at Ocho, all magnificent people that have blessed my life with their presence. This feeling of family hit me in full at the '99 summer festival, my first, at Oswego County Airport in Volney, NY. Full on community here. Buy clothes, longboards, batteries, food, you name it, we got it. "Garlic grilled cheese, just one dollar! What the fuck its only a buck!" came cries from a hilarious pudgy bearded guy with a huge smile. Or another guy just down the runway spoofing the scene with a witty usage of the History of the World Part 1 line "Nothing for sale! Absolutely nothing for sale!" and added the standard Phish tour lot sale deal "1 for 3, 2 for 5." I brought two buddies from home with me to the show, but they didn't have tickets. So, I had to drop them off at the gate and I went in. They didn't have cell phones and we got there when it was about half filled. The total capacity of the festival ended up being bigger than my hometown population by 20,000 people, so I expected to not see them for quite a while or not at all till the end of the weekend. Regardless, I went down the strip to the message board walking by myself yet interacting the whole time. Hi-ing, smiling, strangers stopping strangers just to shake their hands...you know. I after a while I found the message board and put up a detailed description of how to find my car among the seemingly billions of other posts already on the board...more hopeless it seems, but whatever. I was undaunted. I felt so welcome here and knew I would have a good time with the people here. So I meandered back the long way to my car, making sure to walk by all the vendors and seeing the sights. Finally making my way back to the car to set up my tent and get settled in for the weekend, who is already sitting on the roof of the Volvo 240 DL station wagon affectionately known by my friends and I as "The Whooptie?" The two jokers I dropped off at the gate, Mike and Dave!!! Sweet action! They had immediately found a place along the fence where two kids inside held open a hole for people to duck in. Not only did they find me, but they got in for free. Not a bad deal. Strangers helping strangers. Again I'm being a little self indulgent telling stories of some of my favorite life experiences instead of getting to the point. Just setting the scene for those who haven't experience the Phish scene.
So, in watching Taking Woodstock and remembering stories like those and more, I began to ask myself a question that I haven't, until now, been able to answer with 100% confidence. What is it about these experiences that is so attractive? Is it just the partying, the drinking, the drugs? Is it the music? Is it the people? As any person with even a modicum of intelligence realizes, there is never one single influence behind motivation. There are always many factors involved with attractions or repulsions. So, to say it is only one thing would be misleading. The biggest draw for me, and I think for most others too, is the sense of community. The appreciation of each other in the moment, the acknowledgement of the fellow fan of life is the reason I can't stop thinking about being on tour. Wanting, needing to be there to be wrapped in the warm loving blanket that is Phamily. I can only imagine it was the same underlying current back in the 60's and 70's. This is not to say it is without a negative side, but as with any other community there are always those who act selfishly and make a stain on the perfect blanket. I won't elaborate further on that as I haven't gotten to the point yet.
Wow, there it is. The answer. I want to be in a place that has a strong sense of community, sharing, love, acceptance and freedom. That is why I spend every penny I have on Phish tour. So I can keep going back to Utopia. What does that say about "real life?" Again, as I said before, the people I come across won't acknowledge me or each other in passing. What has happened to our people as a group? Why can't we step outside this box we have put up? This is a very disturbing concept on which I have thought much. As a people, the collective mind, the 100th monkey theory, kinda, that we have cultivated is becoming more and more resentful of ourselves and thus of others. We as individuals and as a society need to be aware of our tendencies and then also be strong enough to make changes to the ones that are unhealthy. The most unhealthy thing for humans, individual or groups, is resentment. Its a slow festering wound that, once it gets to a certain point, can destroy the entire body quickly. Some believe the mind and psychological health is a major factor in the rise of cancer in our society. Our minds are the strongest healers and in turn can be the strongest destroyers. Lets take the time in our lives to make changes that aid ourselves by aiding others. Start simple with a smile or a hello to that guy walking his golden retriever down the sidewalk. Do that a few times in a walk and your mood will be changed for the better by the time you get to where you were going and will, more likely than not, affect those with whom you have interacted for the better as well.
Go my minions, go and do my bidding. This is the word of the Sorg.
Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah and Happy New Year (esp to my Phamily in Miamly, wish I could be there with you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo)
